My intentions were to write my blog every day. For the first 3 days, I was going great. I felt the excitement of having something to say and my anticipation of getting my thoughts across. I was on a role. Day 4 however became a different story. I looked at my work schedule and that’s about all that was thought about that day. On Day 5, the thought of writing anything escaped me. My head was spinning with thoughts of my busy calendar, what I had yet to do and what I hadn’t caught up on from that day. Anything creative was not going to happen at all. My mind was blank!
My every day existence of a crazy back to back calendar, dropping kids to school, errands to run, shopping to get, dinner to be cooked, washing to be done, floors to be mopped was all too consuming. My thoughts in my head were actually in fact of how on earth did I even get time to blog on those first 3 days!! Ahhh!
Day 6 and I can breathe. Today my schedule is a little more manageable and its given me the opportunity to “do nothing”. By do nothing, it means sitting down in quiet and clearing my mind. By knowing that I have the gift of ‘now’ and this moment in time, my mind feels clear and I can feel the words come to me. My head is not going a million miles per hour and I have a sense of calm.
Ive only come to this realisation recently of understanding ‘balance’. The reason that I am now using my energy to do this and take time out to do something that I love is because I spent a couple of weekends doing nothing! My husband is who I really have to thank. To start with, he would suggest we take some time out. Watch some Netflix, relax on the sofa, things that I ‘never’ have time for. “Why would I want to do that? I’m too busy!” I’m not sure what clicked, but I succumbed to the temptation and I did it. I think I read his thoughts of “Maybe I married a Psycho Stresshead’! (Hehe!!!). At first I felt really lazy and almost a little anxious. My mind kept going back to things that I need to do. On saying that, I could also start to feel my body and mind unwinding with each moment of Nothingness. I was feeling relaxed.
From months of feeling like my day was going through the motions, I was actually having thoughts again of where I’d like my life to be. All of the ambitions and goals were coming back to me and giving me energy, whereas over the last few weeks and months had been draining me as just extra things that I needed to do that I was too busy to do and felt like a burden.
The reality is that I would love to say that every day I can afford this luxury. The stark existence is that with the life that I have created, right now this is not possible. I say right now as I can see the importance of having the gift of now and being able to live in the moment. I can feel my calm, release my stress and just enjoy writing and not the anxiety of the next appointment or the next thing that needs doing.
On my days with a clear mind, I vision how I would ultimately like my days to be. One of these visions is having the ability to keep my balance. My own personal strength to say No sometimes and stay clear on my boundaries. This is important too.
I have a rule now that on my busy days, I don’t make important decisions. I can’t!!! My mind is talking a million miles per hour and is cluttered with everything but what I need to focus on. I’m working on that too. I put aside my decisions until I know I can relax. Like I said above, this is my scenario now. My ideal scenario is to live a life where I can find more of this time for the simple moments and to feel the calm. It’s so important.
So my advice…. When you feel that life gets too busy…. Do Nothing!!!