Energy

Have you ever had those moments when you feel that you have wanted or thought about something and just to have it appear or happen?

Have you ever been in a mood, whether feeling fantastic or down in the dumps and you feel that the world and people around you are all the same?

Your energy is stronger than you think. The power of positivity and vision states that you need to see and believe in your dreams. The reason why is ‘because it can happen’.

From previous posts, Ive stated that I was a little rebellious as a teenager. When I was 15 years old, I exclaimed to my family that I was leaving school. No way! Not happening apparently, but I was persistent. Finally I got the answer that if I got a job, I could leave school. It only took a night of harassing so I ‘wagged’ school the next day and went to my local shopping centre. I spoke to the managers of many of the stores, and an hour later, I had been offered a job in the gift shop. A really cool gift shop to say the least and I spent the next 9 months there and loved it.

I was getting to 16 now. I needed a career! What could I do? I was a really fast typist, I could do office work. I looked in the local paper, found a ‘receptionist’ position, phoned up and was asked to come in for an interview. Great! Excitedly I let me family know but was blatantly refused permission to go. My mother explained to me that it was in fact a brothel and that they were looking for young, fresh girls was not going to be a job that I could do. To cut a long story short, I ended up working as a receptionist where my mum worked. I sent my resume to her bosses who hired me.

I loved my job at the front counter. I took ownership of it. A few months in, a couple of the sales reps left. I knew most of the clients from chatting on the phone and greeting them, so said I would love the opportunity to help out. Something clicked. I can do anything and everything that I set my mind to. Everything I wish for and want happens. I was at an age where I didn’t know better. I wasn’t scarred from the world and every day occurence. I had been on a winning streak and that was all that I knew.

I saw a commission sheet of what the sales reps could earn and I started calculating my future. The first month of me ‘helping out’ saw me become sales person of the month. I was only about 17, going on 18. I was good at this. I put myself into a sales course and officially applied for the job which I got. The only problem is that it was a repping job on the road and I didn’t actually have a licence. I got my learners, bought myself a brand new car and started it each morning visualising my new job. It was a lot simpler 20 years ago in Brisbane to get a licence, so a couple of months later, I was zipping around in my little car, calculating my commissions and working out my next goal to buy a house.

I started looking at homes at 18 and decided on a block of land. I bought it, designed my little house and set about getting a builder to make my dream a reality. I was 19 when I moved in.

I could see the big wide world opening up and all of the opportunities there were. Ok, I had dropped out of school and companies wanted an education so I decided to put myself into management school as that is what I was going to do. I signed up to Australian Institute of Management, did my night study and I was ready for my next step.

Well, to cut a long story short, I didn’t know any better than to think that if you want something, you make a goal, make a plan and you just do it. Easy!!!

I remember my house in Brisbane started feeling like it was too far out. It was about 20 minutes out of the city. A long way!! I would drive along the highway and about half way along, there was a farm that had been there for years. I started looking as I was driving past each day and thought that this would be my perfect location to live. About 6 weeks later, a big for sale sign was erected stating block of land for sale, right on the river. I phoned that afternoon and had purchased my block within the week.

Like I said, I wanted it, I got it. Was I spoilt, conceited. No. I just believed that whatever I wanted I could wish for and work for and I would get it. Don’t get me wrong, I worked hard. I would be at breakfast meetings, clients dinners and functions, travelling. It never felt like work though as I thoroughly loved what I did.

Life changed a little after I ended up getting married and having kids when I was early 20’s. I made a decision that I didn’t want to do, at the time moving to Sydney which was always against my ‘gut’ but moved on a promise that it would be 2 years maximum. Well, 14 years later I am still in Sydney and in a different set of circumstances. Things changed then as I became uncertain of my life decisions. I was living my life now for somebody else’s dream and I felt trapped.

My Energy was gone. I knew it was there, but this is for another blog, I decided to get my energy back, get my life back and be the person that could do anything.

My kids were all that was important, so I made the decision to leave an unhappy marriage and my only ‘want’ out of it was not to drag my kids through court and have them just remember their happy childhood. Well, again my wishes came true but the process nearly broke me. I have never been challenged with as much betrayal and realised that my energy had gone many years ago from the years and layers of lies and deception.

But you know, nothing breaks me. I am awesome. I’m rebuilding. I am married now to the most amazing and loving human. Out of all of my wishes from when I was a little girl, I had wanted that one love who made me feel beautiful, cherished, and their world. I think finding this has made me realise what life is really all about. Not possessions, money or career, but who is there in life with you by your side. My big house that i bought is now lived in by somebody else and I could be bitter, but its just a thing.

My happy family are with me and we will have a bigger house one day….if we want to.

I sat back thinking not long ago that life was hard. But you know what. It’s not hard. I still realise that what I think about happens. My absolute realisation is that I need to think good and positive things. I want that positive energy of feeling and knowing that I can do and have it all. When you think good things, good things happen.

My energy now feels it is coming and I’m in a really good place. When you feel alive with your dreams, they come true. When something doesn’t feel right, listen!! Don’t ever let anyone or anything dull your sparkle 💎

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