Wow! From one Twitter share of my blog post, my story about my brother has gone viral, but that’s not what this blog is about.
This blog is about what it says above. SOMETHING FREAKING AMAZING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN! Have you ever felt like that? Well, this is how I am feeling now and how I have been feeling every day. I decided this year was my time to make changes. No, let me clarify…. I decided early last year it was time to make changes… but I didn’t!!!! What this resulted in was feelings of me feeling frustrated, angry, tired and not in control. This made my thoughts change. Do you know that all of my frustration and everything else last year was caused by everybody else? To be honest, it wasn’t. All of my frustration was caused by my wanting to change, and my lack of faith and courage to do it. I was angry and upset at me and only me and therefore I blamed everybody else.
For you who know my brother, he is a pretty amazing man. He is ultimately working with technology that is changing the world. Regardless, he will be a part of history. Many see him as great, many even see him as this an arrogant, self-centred and egotistical maniac. But you know what, to be great, you need to be selfish. You need to have this undeniable and absolute belief that you can set your goals, that you can achieve anything. In adversity, when you get kicked or knocked down, when you have a bad day, when all is not going to plan, its about trying and trying again until you succeed.
My mental resilience has taken a huge leap forward. I started making my changes late last year. I quit my job, I started being selfish and looking after me again. I decided to get rid of any negative energy. To the man who had tried to break me spiritually, mentally and financially, I sent a message which read “I forgive you for anything that I feel that you have done to me and I apologise for anything which you feel that I have done to you”. I released my negative energy. I’m not saying that we are ever going to be friends, but that shit is gone. I have let it go.
Ive cut my hair! For anybody that knows me and knows of the haircut that my Mum made me get at 11 years old that made me look like a boy version of a 1920’s cartoon called Sluggo, then they would understand why my hair was long for many years. A couple of inches gone and soon some more. I’m loving this new found freedom.
Ive lost weight. Last year I thought I was just getting to that age when weight is too hard to lose, but I knew that was rubbish. I was eating crap and not exercising like I used to. In fact, I was tired and lethargic. My knee would hurt really bad for no reason. My stress relief was running, but I couldn’t do it. I was in the spiral that I’m stressed that I cant exercise like i used to and nothing will work anyway! It hurt too much. But you know what!! When I made all of these changes, my knee stopped hurting. I am running 8-10 km in one go. I am sprinting, jumping, you name it. My knee just doesn’t hurt anymore. If anybody has ever read books by Louise Hays, she says that this could be about wanting to walk away and not doing it. I totally agree.
Last year I just wanted things. I wanted to get a bigger house, but we couldn’t afford it. How unfair was life. I wanted and wanted and wanted but I wasn’t getting what I wanted and I just kept getting frustrated for not getting what I wanted!!!!
So, I have realised I don’t need these things anymore. I’m actually perplexed to why I thought i needed them then. Do you know what I want and I crave? This feeling that something freaking amazing is about to happen. You know what freaking amazing is happening. Everything! Every achievement I have made. Every kg I lost from stepping on the scale has given me the greatest joy and pride that Ive said no and been strong with looking after my health and nutrition. I feel great.
I feel amazing getting my University grades in. My brother doesn’t send me anything, but he helps with learning and study and bettering myself. Do you know this is the greatest gift ever! The feeling I got when I got a high distinction on my first subject was exhilarating!! I am learning subjects which are about healing oneself. Your thoughts, your energy, your everything change everything. It is amazing.
My new job is amazing. Ive had some clients come over and have many new clients and I am so proud of them all. They are making changes to be the best version of themselves. I thought I had lost the passion for what used to bring me such immense pleasure. It’s back !
Each morning now when I wake up, I am so excited (after my coffee I am anyway), that SOMETHING FREAKING AMAZING IS GOING TO HAPPEN! What is it. It’s that I am just excited by every possibility, everything that I am able to do and achieve. I’m excited to feel a hug from my husband or see my kids healthy and happy. I am lucky and I am bless and EVERY DAY IS FREAKING AMAZING!